Friday, October 21, 2011

My first time

A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a newspaper called Surf'n Sail. Dunno what went wrong, but shortly after I received a mail from the Redacteur... He was sorry to announce that the last issue was indeed the last issue. Ever. Strange, I thought the story was quite funny.
My first bubbly
The reporter was a real sweet-talker, so I told him the full story. If he was touched by it, then he never showed it. He kept on scribbling on his ipad like forever; Then he took a few pictures and went off. However, usually less than ten percent of a story makes it to print. This time was no exception, so here it is... The subject of the interview was...

My first time

I met this dude. I forgot where; Probably at the Sweethearts Club. He was sweet and good looking. I was young and clueless. Not like today, where I am a bit older, hehe. Anyway. We talked for a while, and he went in to the usual craptalk. You look sweet and all that. After a while he asked me some more personal questions; What do you like to do, when you are not here. Stuff like that. At the time I had no idea what to do in SL. So, - I told him I was pretty clueless on that.
Me trying to look clueless
He was a real sweet-talker too; I guess they have a club or something. Anyways, he went "pretty allright". He never did comment upon the cluelessness. A little later he moved closer and asked if I wanted to see what he liked to do. Something really nice. Something wild, wet and crazy; You will like it. It's not dangerous at all, just put on a bikini. 

That's when I got suspicious. 

However, I went along. He changed to boxers, and we sat down on this device, still chatting. He went on about how this is so much better, when you are two, and that's when he started talking strange. First he said, please sit still while I turn this thing on. Ehm... what thing? Then he started saying "start", "raise". I went, geeezzz, can you talk to it? Can I tell it what to do? Amazing. Lemme try...
Question: Will bubbly undress any woman?
Then we started. Strange sensation. First we moved slowly; It was unreal. Didn't hurt a bit. Seemed perfectly safe. Then we went faster. Kinda exciting. All kinds of images flashing through my mind. Phew! Very hot; Very wet. Faster and faster we went. Sounds getting louder and louder, me getting all dizzy until suddenly...  He yelled "I lost control", and it all came to an abrupt halt. Always stops too early, right!

He said, eeek - we're stuck! 

I was like what? Now? What do you mean stuck? Then he started saying lower. Lower. Geeezzz... like now? Then it gets weird. He went on saying "raise", "lower", "raise" a few times until he firmly announced: It doesn't work any more. Gaaahhh. Not dangerous huh? Here I was, - thinking he was on top of things, and then he pops it like that? Game over...
Gotta get me one of these
Ok, I stopped hyperventilating. Got myself together and said thanx for the ride. He wanted to know if I had enjoyed it. Told him it had been fun, but not nearly as much fun as I had expected. Told him I knew it could be so much better. He didn't understand. So, we parted, and we never spoke again. Can't even remember his name. Too bad really...

What really happened was, he go so excited he forgot to control the darn thing; We simply hit an island, and the boat broke. Not physicaly. In SL boats break programatically. We simply sat there. The boat was stuck, and we were stuck in it. Total downer.
Felt like sailing a paperboat
Of all this, the only thing that made it to the paper was, that I had a bad first experience sailing, and that I concluded that virtual sailing virtually sucked. I mean, that boat didn't feel like a boat. It had no heel, no balance, no trimming, no wind indicator, no compass; All you did was steer and drive. Duh! Much later, I learned about the yacht clubs, and then the sweet people at Tradewinds YC showed me some real virtual sailing in the Flying Fizz. That kinda got me started.

Turns out most boats in SL are controlled using commands like "raise", "gybe", "lower", "moor" et.c.

All this just to point you to a hilarious post over at O Dock, a very inspiring and funny sailing blog. Can you believe that?  If you go there, then make sure you also read the comments. Sooo funny. O Docker, thanx for "turning me on". 


  1. I was too suspecious about whether I should visit O-Dock, but since I read your recommendation, off I went.

  2. Thanks for the link.

    Glad I was able to inspire this post!

    O Dock is like a box of chocolates, Doc.

  3. I was in SL for a while a year or two back. I tried sailing there too and it was a total disaster. We capsized and I had no idea how to do a recovery.

  4. Doc, I hope u had fun over there. I did. Glad you can read my Typoneese.

    O Docker! (a Doc more?) Yeah, thats right, and thats fun... u never know what you're gonna get. Just like (second) life..

    Tillerman in SL? Whoa! What boat did you sail? Did you delete your account? Don't tell me, your that dude from my post!! BTW, I found a laser. Will post a few pics soon.

  5. I have thought about SL as don't do enough sailing in RL, but unfortunately at the moment are overloaded with "things to do" so its unlikely to happen.

    I enjoy reading blogs about those that do it though!

  6. Thanx JP... With winter approaching I will enjoy both SL sailing - and reading blogs about RL sailing.

  7. Great post Noodle, very interresting read. Wink Wink. Catch you Laters.

  8. Glad u liked it, Lordmaldaine ;-)


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